of<\/p>\n\n\n\n
aftercare <\/p>\n\n\n\n
practices<\/p>\n\n\n\n
that finally<\/p>\n\n\n\n
does my head in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Practices so<\/p>\n\n\n\n
tender and<\/p>\n\n\n\n
even<\/p>\n\n\n\n
heartwrenching,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
that I\u2019d just<\/p>\n\n\n\n
experienced for<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the first time,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
lapping them up<\/p>\n\n\n\n
unashamedly,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
only to fall<\/p>\n\n\n\n
back to earth<\/p>\n\n\n\n
hard and fast;<\/p>\n\n\n\n
unsteady, disorientated, sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
These were<\/p>\n\n\n\n
not our special<\/p>\n\n\n\n
things,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
contrary to what<\/p>\n\n\n\n
my naive, trusting<\/p>\n\n\n\n
heart<\/p>\n\n\n\n
had been telling<\/p>\n\n\n\n
me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
No. They were<\/p>\n\n\n\n
practices.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
There were protocols,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ways of doing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Even with<\/p>\n\n\n\n
random strangers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Where exactly<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the near-instant<\/p>\n\n\n\n
jealousy, rage and anger <\/p>\n\n\n\n
springs from,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have no idea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So this is love.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I should <\/p>\n\n\n\n
have known better.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I live by the truth:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
never<\/p>\n\n\n\n
ask a question that<\/p>\n\n\n\n
you don\u2019t<\/p>\n\n\n\n
want to know<\/p>\n\n\n\n
the answer to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
And I had done<\/p>\n\n\n\n
exactly that,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
setting up my own trap<\/p>\n\n\n\n
so beautifully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Yet here I was,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
suddenly surprised<\/p>\n\n\n\n
at the fierceness<\/p>\n\n\n\n
of the steel teeth<\/p>\n\n\n\n
of this hunter\u2019s trap,<\/p>\n\n\n\n
so deeply embedded<\/p>\n\n\n\n
that the blood<\/p>\n\n\n\n
is gushing out, uncontrollably.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
So what does Lu do<\/p>\n\n\n\n
next?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
As I write this<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I have no<\/p>\n\n\n\n
clear idea, and instead<\/p>\n\n\n\n
cling to this paper<\/p>\n\n\n\n
and its lifeline to my soul.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
~Lu<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
of aftercare practices that finally does my head in. Practices so tender and even heartwrenching, that I\u2019d just experienced for the first time, lapping them up unashamedly, only to fall back to earth hard and fast; unsteady, disorientated, sad. These were not our special things, contrary to what my naive, trusting heart had been telling […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_s2mail":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[27,33,52,10],"tags":[3,14,5,13,8],"class_list":["post-317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-connection","category-contemplation","category-discomfort","category-heartbreak","tag-life","tag-new-love","tag-possibility","tag-sadness","tag-uncertainty"],"yoast_head":"\n