Lu Unfiltered

Tag: uncertainty

  • I feel

    and todayit’shard.It blisters andthere arethick, heavy tearshurting the backof my throat. I’m learningsomething new, andit’s excruciating.I feel sosmall.So insignificant.And exposed toeveryone else’sInsta-life versionof this.I’m failing dismally. That makesmesad. Andangry. Andconfused.And heartsore.And asfar as Ican tell,there’s no wayto miraculously solvethis.The only wayisthrough.This I know.Yet I winge andwhine andwish itwas different.I really wanttolearn thisthing.To be greatat it,to…

  • Tell me

    where yourstrong groundis.How youmade it so.And how manylifetimesit tookto construct.Who arethe peoplewho surroundand supportyou there?How DIDyou findthem? For wegrow, fromhumble beginnings.And imperfectfoundations causehavocover time.Yet weall hold thecapacity torevisit thesestarting places.To heal,and strengthen,and replenishuntil overflowinglyfull. So what are YOUbuilding onthe strongfoundation ofyour own construction?What does thatbeautiful skyscraperhold?And whatwill you leavebehindto nurturethis world? ~Lu

  • This path

    willbe restored.The currentpooled-up stiffnesswill givewayto flow.The sun’s rayswillcaressyour faceagain,the shivers ofwinter ebbingaway.The leavesof autumnwillsoftenyour footsteps.And thedarkwill comeagain. Yet youwill alwaysbe there,with you.And today’sdarknessand uncertaintywill shift andtransforminto knowing.You willpack it away,having sippedthe deep wisdomit brings. And you willchange,as yourone preciouslife continuesto unfurl,the fern frondof your destinyswaying tothe gentlebreeze oftime. ~Lu

  • Husbands

    can be awkward.And ifyou’re aZaza, youget to useupmore thanone. Preferablynot atthe sametime. Hmm. I’mnot surewhat normalfolks do.I meanwith husbands.They seemquite dangerousin thewild.To be tamedwith care,good foodand man cavesperhaps? I’m notsure, see.I’ve had onethat I couldn’tkeep.And therelief inthat statementis palpable.Yet,I cravethe closenessof beingsomeone’sfirst choice.And to havethatbadge ofhonour, closeto my heart. Writing thisisexceedinglyuncomfortable,forin the wordsof Cher:I ama…

  • Ever wonder

    what it is that holds you  back? Fear of… Failure? Being discovered as a fraud?  Or worst still, being average? What would happen if you simply did? Despite the loaded “what if”?   Suddenly, a whole new world of possibility opens. Free of the ever-present judgment of  your current  reality. You could just, try that new…

  • Some exceptions

    are worthmaking.Some odditiesare worthconsidering,in the moment,or the week,or perhapseven the months,when thingssimply feelodd, or off. Only, it’s notthings thatare off,it’s you.And you can’tquite putyour fingeron it.There’sthe near immediateguilt of havingso muchto be thankfulfor, to lookforward to,in your everydaylife. Yet somethingis chafing,and you can’tquite figure outwhat, where,or how. Discomfort.Sitting with it,is probably oneof life’s mostprofound lessons.…

  • I’m feeling

    somewhat outof sortstoday.There’s a dullache. Nothingthat needsmedical attentionof the official kind.Instead,it’s my heart. She’snot quiteherself. Despitethe extra sleep, andstretching out acrossthe entire bed.Despite eatingall the chocolatemyself, without needingto share.Despite watchingexactly what I wantedwithout having tonegotiate and compromise. See,I seem to havemisseda trick here.The wonder ISin the compromise,in the negotiation,in the figuring outhow two bodies shareone…

  • I’m frightened

    and as Iwrite this,even more so.For I believethat wespeak thingsinto life.And this includesbad things. What frightens meis that youwill somehowdisappear, get lostor take yourself offto somewhere else,indefinitely.And more so,the prospect thatyou will simplyslip away slowly,your marvelousnessleaking through mygrasping fingers.The slow smoulderto death, throughinattentiveness,and that age-oldpassion killer: takingsomeone for granted. These are thethoughts thatkeep me up…

  • What are

    the dreamshiding tounlockyour beautiful life?Your lifeof purpose,of fun, and beingfully you? Where are they?Check the drawersand cupboards ofyour heart andsoul. Shake off the dust covers,and fold themaway.Roll up that Persian carpetcovering the trapdoorto the silly things,yep, that aren’t things,that you want toadd to your life. Because, well,you want to.Something inside youcalls to them.Have you numbed…

  • You are

    a part ofme now.So the physicalityof missing you hasshifted,in not so subtle ways.It’s no longera gentle, idealistic longing,nope.It’s a visceral need,and when deprivedof your gloriouscompany, andattention,it’s similar tothe discomfort ofa missing limb.Its memory throbbing,as I stumble ormiss-clutch along,unsteady and unsure. My nakednessand dependence.For all tosee.Complimentaryanddiscomforting.Growing day by day.Real.Powerful.And potentiallyheartbreaking. Here we are.Both insidethis new norm,a…