Lu Unfiltered

Category: Discomfort

  • My love

    this thingof oursis so fragile.Like early morningcobwebs, it gleamsand delightswith prisms of light through dewdrops.Radiant rainbows abound.Yet one smallgust of wind, orthe merest of tugsmay send it flying. My heart aches atthe prospectof its delicacy. Itis weak, andincapable ofgirding its own loins. And soI guard itin my heart. Knowingthat wehave bothbeen downthis road before.And thatdisappointmentmay…

  • Living in your head (and other dangerous places)

    There isa place, Igo to, or ratherthat I am oftentrapped inside, inadvertentlyand withlittle hopeof escape. My mindscapeis oftenterrifying.Cutting meoff atthe knees,and leaving afrightened, paleand insipidversion ofme,on full display,to be goadedand ridiculedby all Imeet. Yet in thislies thecrux of the matter also…For these terrorsonly ever playout on thecanvas of myvery own mind. And the tragediesand disappointmentschronicalled…

  • There is

    a moment, albeit brief, when you know that you are doing  something  right. And while it can be  fleeting, the knowing your body has in that moment  is exquisite. This  is the  beauty of learning new  things. Of pressing  through discomfort, of keeping going, of  not understanding, of being confused, of being sullen, and yet…

  • A fireside chat, for J

    There isa fireinsideher.Beyond theexco notes,and school drop-offs.The sensible sandals,and theyogalatesstretches. It findsher. In thewide openspaces, sheseeks.The dancingflames,licking, hintingatthat lifeless ordinary. The wild, untamed.The warrior,that is her. Embers leftfor dead,inside herheart… Yearningfor thestiring ofair. A twigto snap, a bravepoker-holder tomake his way closer… Yet still,the fire burns…Lapping atthe wetness ofher cheeks,the bow ofher back. Theheaviness,which can…

  • I feel

    and todayit’shard.It blisters andthere arethick, heavy tearshurting the backof my throat. I’m learningsomething new, andit’s excruciating.I feel sosmall.So insignificant.And exposed toeveryone else’sInsta-life versionof this.I’m failing dismally. That makesmesad. Andangry. Andconfused.And heartsore.And asfar as Ican tell,there’s no wayto miraculously solvethis.The only wayisthrough.This I know.Yet I winge andwhine andwish itwas different.I really wanttolearn thisthing.To be greatat it,to…

  • Where to

    next?I ask, lookingdown into herseagreen eyes. You know,she smiles.You’re on your waythere,already.Keep going. I reach for herhand. Thistiny girlversion ofme.So sure ofherself. Soobviously capable,as she makessense of the world. What next?When I sitwith this question,and turn downthe noise of everydaylife,I do know.It’s in the whispers ofthe cool breeze, combingthrough a forest oftrees.It’s in the slow…

  • This path

    willbe restored.The currentpooled-up stiffnesswill givewayto flow.The sun’s rayswillcaressyour faceagain,the shivers ofwinter ebbingaway.The leavesof autumnwillsoftenyour footsteps.And thedarkwill comeagain. Yet youwill alwaysbe there,with you.And today’sdarknessand uncertaintywill shift andtransforminto knowing.You willpack it away,having sippedthe deep wisdomit brings. And you willchange,as yourone preciouslife continuesto unfurl,the fern frondof your destinyswaying tothe gentlebreeze oftime. ~Lu

  • Early Days

    and dopaminehighs,yet wepersist. Things changeshape and therhythm ofour sharedlife changesgears. Yet herewe are.Content,smittenand temptingfate as sheholds herblood staineddouble-edged sword. When willshe comefor us my love?Time willtell. Yet perhapsthis time,she’s on our side?For shehas seen thepaths wetravelled toget tothis placeof respiteand comfort.This placeof everydaybliss,and perhaps,just perhapsshe has biggerfish to fry,than us. I look atyou in marvel,your…

  • When

    they leave,they take a pieceof us withthem.To a placewhere itcan neverbe retrieved from. When theyleave,words arepointless aswe stand byhelplessly,steeped inunbearable pain. When they leave,we tellourselvesstories of neverever lovinganother dog. Everagain. When theyleave, wefeel shameat having letthem go, whilebeing brave forprotecting themfrom furthermisery. When theyleave, weblame ourselvesfor all theshould havesand could haves. When theyleave, wejust miss…

  • Husbands

    can be awkward.And ifyou’re aZaza, youget to useupmore thanone. Preferablynot atthe sametime. Hmm. I’mnot surewhat normalfolks do.I meanwith husbands.They seemquite dangerousin thewild.To be tamedwith care,good foodand man cavesperhaps? I’m notsure, see.I’ve had onethat I couldn’tkeep.And therelief inthat statementis palpable.Yet,I cravethe closenessof beingsomeone’sfirst choice.And to havethatbadge ofhonour, closeto my heart. Writing thisisexceedinglyuncomfortable,forin the wordsof Cher:I ama…