Lu Unfiltered

Tag: uncertainty

  • The longing

    is real,and uncomfortable.Like beautifulstilettosthat are justa tiny bittoo tight…At some pointbittersweetshifts tounbearableand one hasto broker somerelease,or at leasttemporary respite. And while theprudent ormore togetherindividualsamong uswould advocatefor temperance,perhaps evencounselrestraint, orat the very least,quiet, modestsuffering,I have no suchqualmsand howllustily asI contemplatethe dire situationconstitutedby yourdistinct yetunfortunateabsence,knowing full wellthatthe heart wants exactly,whatthe heartwants:you. ~Lu

  • Peeling onions and other tricky life bits

    So the storygoesthat one canavoid cryingwhile peelingonions,by biting intoa match,and havingthe flint endhang out,not unlikeAndy Cap. Peeling humansseems to bea similarlytricky pursuit,although I’mnot quite sureofwhat oneshould bite into… For humansand understandingthem,and what you findas you peelback the layers,can be supertricky.For we area truly flawedspecies of equallyflawed individuals,and mostof us,prefer not toloose face. So what now?Does…

  • Ever

    take a knifeto a gunfight? Ever walkinto a dingy,dark alleyand realisethat thatwas a ratherrookie mistake? Ever have amoment sittingwith a strangerwhohas his fingerup your nose? Metaphoricallyor real,these moments,if survived,certainly bringclarity,albeit after thefact. Canthis new friendbe trusted?Is this the right path?Does one trulyneed a nosering?Or a nipplepiercing?And if so,which one? And whatabout anothertattoo? Or simplya new…

  • Considering meeting Cerberus and other birthday complications

    Birthdays can becomplex.On the happinessand lightside of thescale,there’s cupcakesand sprinkles,presents andjoy. There may alsobeneglect, orindifference,or simplyhaving nothingto give,or share. These aresome of theearly years’ birthdaythings. And yet,we move on,we grow,without thatpony, or puppyor senseof belonging. As supposedadults,they may retaintheirsame power:flipping theswitch back tothose vulnerabletimes…Waiting forother humansto arrive,only forno-one to pitch,being left out,or simplybeing consideredinconsequential. Yet…

  • And then

    we talkand I blowthe doors of my heartwide openexposing my fearand panic.And I literallysay exactly what’scrept under myskin,suddenly appearinglike an itchytapeworm,the compulsionto scratchso strong,while my blooddrips slowlyto the floor. And you tellme what I need toknow,and it’s not pretty,or tidy, or sugar-coated.It’s gritty, and horribleand tender, andreal, and itbreaksmy hearteven more open,to love you,to keep…

  • Being sensible

    is sucha great assetin life,really. Being sensiblealso happensto be theantithesisof my defaulttemperament. How interestingit is to meetpeople, exactlywherethey are…Rather thanwhere your preconceivednotions mayhaveparked them. People,after all, arecomplex beings.And we alllongfor love, and belonging. So what happenswhen people shiftbetween theseinformal groupings,changing gearsfrom love to belonging? For I believe thatloving someone means,that they areforever there,even if only…

  • I love you

    because we arethe same,and I livefor the gettingof my in-jokesand BSG. I love youbecause you’renothing likeme:big, and wild,and dangerous,with somegreat livedstories to tell. I love youbecause youbring such greatand ofteninfuriatingperspective.Are you evenhuman?And how canchocolate notbe a recognised and appreciatedprimary food group? I actually haveno idea howto trulyloveyou, as Iwitness thecare and considerationyou applyto this everydaything…

  • Anticipation

    is a  powerful force. Closely related to hope and awe. It literally is the stuff that dreams are made of. And it scares some of us half to death. Because admitting to anticipating something means that a) you really want it, and b) you open yourself up to the dreaded d-word. Disappointment. Because suddenly you’re…

  • For D

    Be still and know that I am God. Be still, and know that I am all around  you. And that everything is exactly as it should  be. I am the Dragon in your belly. And the pounding in your head. The rush of blood through your  veins. And the  puppy in your lap. I am…

  • Sometimes

    just looking at you is hard. You catch my gaze and my breath. You’re ordinary to the naked eye, to the uninitiated and the  uninformed. For your  special brand of black magic runs deep, and lethal. There is  no  cure, ask me, I’ve looked. I have tried to get  away, and faltered, tried to move…